UO Second Age

I have witnessed this testimonial of our savior Malice and the story of vlastlav, recited by our highness Matron-TG. For it is my responsibility to at the very least deliver unto you forum-goers this beautiful rendition.

[03:20] <Matron-TG> Malaikat_Maut:
[03:20] <Malaikat_Maut> apparently me with nothing but a 20 vanq kat and a bag full of purple pots can kill 5 gy newbies
[03:20] <Malaikat_Maut> ?
[03:20] <Matron-TG> Have you accepted Malice into your life?
[03:21] <Malaikat_Maut> I can't say that I disbelieve
[03:21] <Malaikat_Maut> I have also accepted that I'm getting 3 hours of sleep
[03:21] *** Delo changed nick to Delo-Zzzz
[03:21] <Matron-TG> The great book teaches us that there is no sleep!
[03:21] <Matron-TG> There is no time!
[03:22] <Delo-Zzzz> lawl
[03:22] <Matron-TG> The terrathan keep is under constant threat, and we must protect it..
[03:22] <Malaikat_Maut> Death be to ye bards
[03:22] <Matron-TG> With our plaided kilts, and hats of straw, we must persevere forth
[03:22] <Matron-TG> to drive the evil from the keep
[03:22] <Malaikat_Maut> I can't believe no one liked by big ballron comment earlier
[03:23] <Matron-TG> I think that your problems would be solved
[03:23] <Malaikat_Maut> my*
[03:23] <Matron-TG> if only you fully accepted the savior of the terrathan into your life
[03:23] <Malaikat_Maut> like I said, it would be difficult for me to not believe that Malice exists
[03:23] <Malaikat_Maut> considering...you know...this conversation
[03:24] <Malaikat_Maut> maybe if Malice would duel me more often
[03:24] <Malaikat_Maut> then I could really believe
[03:24] <Malaikat_Maut> SHOW ME A SIGN
[03:26] <Vega-> JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL
[03:26] <Matron-TG> The great Malice-TG need not show you a sign to prove his existence
[03:26] <Matron-TG> for he is proven in the great book
[03:26] <Malaikat_Maut> As much as I would enjoy this mock theological discussion, I seriously need to sleep
[03:27] <Vega-> Malaikat just scared he's gonna die
[03:27] <Malaikat_Maut> I'm so tired, my head is numb
[03:27] <Malaikat_Maut> I died already a few times tonight
[03:27] <Vega-> point prove
[03:27] <Matron-TG> Before you go
[03:27] <Vega-> proven*
[03:27] <Matron-TG> let me quote for you, from the book of
[03:27] <Matron-TG> Malice
[03:27] <Malaikat_Maut> lol
[03:27] <Malaikat_Maut> go on oh great one
[03:27] <Matron-TG> This is from Malice: 44:6 The story of vlastlav
[03:28] <Matron-TG> Vlastlav was a poor man from a village far away
[03:28] <Matron-TG> he toiled every day, housing three miners as slaves.
[03:28] <Vega-> Vlastlav aka Hydroxide?
[03:28] <Malaikat_Maut> let the man speak
[03:28] <Matron-TG> His mother was stricken ill, and vlastlav had every doctor in the land come to see
[03:28] <Matron-TG> but there was no cure
[03:29] <Matron-TG> that was until
[03:29] <Matron-TG> a great hand came down from the sky
[03:29] <Matron-TG> clad in blue plad
[03:29] <Matron-TG> with a straw hat on the tip of each finger!
[03:29] <Matron-TG> the hand guided vlastlav, and offered support
[03:29] <Matron-TG> from the sky quaked a giants voice
[03:29] <Matron-TG> "Fear not, for death is the way of nature" it exclaimed
[03:30] <Matron-TG> Suddenly, vlastlav had a warming sensation of the heart
[03:30] <Matron-TG> at that moment he accepted the true nature of the cruel world of sossaria
[03:30] <Matron-TG> Brazen by the sun, he continued to mine, he increased his operation 10 fold!
[03:31] <Matron-TG> When the industrial revolution occured in his sleepy villiage
[03:31] <Matron-TG> a rich man by the name of Telamon offered him a deal
[03:31] <Matron-TG> "Sell me your macro" sayeth he
[03:31] <Matron-TG> and vlastlav complied
[03:31] <Matron-TG> for he had toiled too long
[03:31] <Matron-TG> He used the earnings to buy the greatest of armor
[03:31] <Matron-TG> and the strongest of halberd
[03:31] <Matron-TG> the swiftest of horse
[03:32] <Matron-TG> and the freshest of reagent
[03:32] <Matron-TG> but through all his effort, he could not complete his quest
[03:32] <Matron-TG> for he had chosen to go out and achieve the impossible
[03:32] <Matron-TG> he had chosen to join the Terrathan Guard
[03:32] <Matron-TG> Many years passed.
[03:33] <Matron-TG> Vlastlav was at wits end, his family had passed, and he no longer had friends in the villiage
[03:33] <Matron-TG> "Bespoke onto me, and I shall have you"
[03:33] <Matron-TG> said a voice from the sky.
[03:33] <Matron-TG> Vlastlav then stepped down a winding coridor
[03:33] <Matron-TG> into the terrathan keep
[03:33] <Matron-TG> where he met a spriteful pixie
[03:33] <Matron-TG> named brules
[03:34] <Matron-TG> "Why must you come slay me" said the pixie
[03:34] <Matron-TG> "I must" said vlastlav
[03:34] <Matron-TG> for the glory of Malice!
[03:34] <Matron-TG> Brules met a swift end at the sharp edge of his halberd
[03:34] <Matron-TG> and was vanquished forever into Wise's shadow
[03:34] <Malaikat_Maut> damn it man
[03:34] <Matron-TG> "You have proven your worth" said the voice from the sky
[03:35] <Malaikat_Maut> I'm waiting for this to get good
[03:35] <Matron-TG> Through a hole in the top of the keep
[03:35] <Matron-TG> Vlastlav ascended 20 stories into the realm of terrathania
[03:35] <Matron-TG> and basked in the glory of our lord Malice
[03:35] <Matron-TG> But he was still not a disciple
[03:35] *** TheRealTj quit (Ping timeout: 246 seconds)
[03:35] <Matron-TG> For many months he fought valiantly
[03:36] <Matron-TG> driving away countless bardish fiends from the keep
[03:36] <Matron-TG> but when leaving for his daily duties
[03:36] <Matron-TG> in the name of the lord and savior malice
[03:36] <Matron-TG> he forgot to lock down a small table
[03:36] <Matron-TG> and the vile Miller snaked his way inside!
[03:36] <Matron-TG> His place was wiped clean!
[03:36] <Malaikat_Maut> !
[03:37] <Matron-TG> "THAT WAS JUST JUNK LOOT AND U NEED IT MORE THAN ME U SCRUB"
[03:37] <Matron-TG> proclaimed vlastlav
[03:37] <Matron-TG> but his words fell on deaf ears
[03:37] <Matron-TG> and he was cast out by the lord himself
[03:37] <Matron-TG> he was forced to leave the shard he called home
[03:37] <Matron-TG> ------
[03:37] <Matron-TG> The book of Malice teaches us
[03:37] <Matron-TG> that if we want to bask in his glory
[03:37] <Malaikat_Maut> ahmen
[03:37] <Matron-TG> we must not only achieve glory by Malice
[03:38] <Matron-TG> Wear our straw hat with pride
[03:38] <Matron-TG> and protect the keep
[03:38] <Malaikat_Maut> I still call that the sandro hat
[03:38] <genkakuzai> the... spam...
[03:38] <Matron-TG> we must also be cautios with our belongings
[03:38] <Vega-> Silence genkakuzai!
[03:38] <Pixelclicker> And run thee from the Britain GY lo to the TG patio
[03:38] <genkakuzai> stfu Vega-
[03:38] <Matron-TG> I trust you can learn from this story Malaikat
[03:38] <Matron-TG> and accept malice into your heart
[03:38] <qwebirc55876> what in the world
[03:39] <Matron-TG> because you can no longer bask in his glory
[03:39] <Vega-> I'm sorry that this rude European interrupted you Matron.
[03:39] <Pixelclicker> Without stopping to cast an offensive spell or to listen to the complaints of his pursuers
[03:39] <Matron-TG> since I just looted your house
[03:39] <Malaikat_Maut> Are you recruiting me Malice?
[03:39] <Matron-TG> newb get gud
[03:39] <Vega-> Thank you sir Matron for your preaching. I shall cherish this lesson forever.
[03:39] <genkakuzai> stop the trash talk this instance Vega-
[03:39] <Malaikat_Maut> oh
[03:39] <qwebirc55876> intance
[03:39] <qwebirc55876> haha
[03:39] <Malaikat_Maut> that would be funny
[03:39] <Malaikat_Maut> now I almost have to log in

As noted, the devout followers of Lord Matron were interrupted by a rude European named genkakuzai. For we must smite thine atheist enemy!

[15:09] Matron-TG Have you returned to hear the rest of the good book?
[15:09] Matron-TG and accept Malice as your savior?
[15:10] Malaikat_Maut I'm flattered you would like to recruit me, Malice
[15:10] Malaikat_Maut but I'm not active
[15:10] army|afk thats not malice you non-dummy.
[15:10] |<-- JessieKJepsen- has left freenode (Remote host closed the connection)
[15:11] Matron-TG "Activity is not necessity to accept me, for I live within you, and you take me everywhere"
[15:11] Matron-TG A quote of Malice's words
[15:11] Matron-TG from the book of Malice
[15:11] Matron-TG Beautiful isn't it?
[15:11] hemp-work not bad
[15:11] hemp-work would read again
[15:12] Matron-TG Let me quote for you from the book of Malice
[15:12] Malaikat_Maut so is this matron or malice
[15:12] jaygee mhm, right on sister
[15:12] Matron-TG The psalms of Panpipe, 55:2
[15:12] jaygee tell it
[15:12] Malaikat_Maut lol
[15:12] Matron-TG Chapter 1
[15:12] Matron-TG Yon bard was a valliant warrior,
[15:13] Matron-TG he fought hard, drank merry, and feared not
[15:13] Tara- grrr
[15:13] hemp-work tara
[15:13] Matron-TG for when it came time for him to venture forth into dungeonous ruin
[15:13] hemp-work no more grring until you meet your end of the deal
[15:13] Matron-TG he wore his barding armor proudly
[15:13] Matron-TG But one afternoon terror struck
[15:13] Spitfire|work vega, keep killing tara she's getting mad
[15:14] Matron-TG A local villiager was missing a child!
[15:14] Vega- kk
[15:14] army|afk omg is panpipe going to be ok?
[15:14] |<-- GreySnow has left freenode (Quit: Page closed)
[15:14] Matron-TG It was little baby brules, and his father was worked up into a panick
[15:14] Matron-TG Yon bard, the hero of Canadian Tyre, stepped up to save the day!
[15:14] Tara- he hasn't killed me yet
[15:15] hemp-work lol
[15:15] Vega- I killed you in Cove lich today
[15:15] Matron-TG Together with his trusty paige, King Wang, he journeyed to a distant land
[15:15] Tara- i have't been in cove today ty
[15:15] Matron-TG Cross land and sea, swamps of muck, and hives of bee
[15:15] Matron-TG they arrived at the mystical land known as the terra keep
[15:15] Matron-TG down spiral stair, cross platrorm ruin,
[15:16] Matron-TG through dark coridor,
[15:16] Matron-TG suddenly there was a cry from the dark
[15:16] hemp-work if this story ends in the hero dying then its fiction
[15:16] Matron-TG "Please Wise, come save me" they heard chipper from
[15:16] army|afk panpipe doesnt die without rising on the same day.
[15:16] Matron-TG the dark corner of a large room
[15:16] army|afk jesus doesnt have shit on panpipe
[15:16] Matron-TG Yon bard proudly exalaimed
[15:17] Matron-TG "Fear not yon brules"
[15:17] Matron-TG "For I am here to save ye"
[15:17] Matron-TG At that time, the child, brules, immediately felt at ease
[15:17] Matron-TG the two balrons around him would be threat no more
[15:17] Matron-TG because he recognized the voice of the Emperor of Hemp,
[15:18] Matron-TG as all of the villiagers had
[15:18] Mammoth[work] claps
[15:18] hemp-work lol
[15:18] Matron-TG and he took solice in knowing that his trusty paige, King Wang would be there to aide him
[15:18] Matron-TG They crept forward thrusting their halberds into the night
[15:18] Matron-TG and fought valiantly
[15:18] hemp-work can you condense this into a pastebin so i can show kingwang and he can come play agian
[15:18] Matron-TG retreating only to use a bandaid
[15:18] Matron-TG or eat a poutine for stamina
[15:19] hemp-work infact it looks like youve written this prior and are copy and pasting, please forward
[15:19] Matron-TG it was then that a slimey snake crept out of the darl
[15:19] Matron-TG *dark
[15:19] Matron-TG blocking the door with tables of wood
[15:19] -->| qwebirc4508 (4bd2cd95@gateway/web/freenode/ip.75.210.205.149) has joined #Secondage
[15:19] Matron-TG and candlabras of brass
[15:19] =-= qwebirc4508 is now known as GreySnow
[15:19] Mammoth[work] Welcome GreySnow
[15:19] Matron-TG Flushed with pain, the 3 panicked in terror
[15:20] Matron-TG and then the great lord Malice bespoke
[15:20] Matron-TG "Ye shall not slayeth those within my keep"
[15:20] Matron-TG "Nei terrathan, nor balron, all are sacred upon me"
[15:20] army|afk malice's book is the shit
[15:20] Matron-TG suddenly a great hand, clad in blue plaid with straw hats on each finger
[15:20] Matron-TG reached down from the shy
[15:20] Matron-TG with a mighty swing
[15:21] Matron-TG a blazen golden halberd came down upon the lands
[15:21] Matron-TG and the Emperor of Hemp and his paige, Brules
[15:21] Matron-TG were vanquished back to the land of the Moose
[15:21] hemp-work fiction
[15:21] army|afk HOW DARE YOU
[15:21] Matron-TG The book of Malice teaches us to deny the Canadian devils
[15:21] Matron-TG and accept only Malice into our hearts
[15:21] Vintirex-droid Blasphemy hemp
[15:21] Matron-TG In malice name we pray
[15:21] Matron-TG amen
[15:22] army|afk AMEN

Would have been way better if you had actually looted my house

the serpents spit on shadowy web the Terra-Ophidian war the march of Armageddon, the lands long lost before...stitching secrets the spider has spun as whiskers catch whispers that ears can not hear...the dark heavens are born by the death of the sun as moonbeams are strung with the glow of love's tear, the stone of our tomb the moon rolled away..opens before ye another gate, and a room full of star's which heaven forbade is destination that battle to bring Malice to the grave.

As ancient stone words crack and are displaced...the fall of your light seals the dark heaven's fate

Matron, you have way too much time on your hands. lol

Menkaure wrote:Matron, you have way too much time on your hands. lol

http://terrorguard.wordpress.com/2012/06/06/panpwnz/

I love Panpipes build, I was there when you started him. He used to always be in Brit in the beginning, but then you locked him in with the Balrons. Who would think something that innocent could be so deadly? Those kind of templates are my favorite. Stealth provoker is nice, but you made something so abominable it works. Like a twisted soul....that does its job dead or alive. Balron's is a nice place to keep him.

archaicsubrosa77 wrote:I love Panpipes build, I was there when you started him. He used to always be in Brit in the beginning, but then you locked him in with the Balrons. Who would think something that innocent could be so deadly? Those kind of templates are my favorite. Stealth provoker is nice, but you made something so abominable it works. Like a twisted soul....that does its job dead or alive. Balron's is a nice place to keep him.

This is why I always used to take counts on panpipe even though he never carries much of anything lol.

It was me that looted vlast tower. Your book is inaccurate

You looted a drop house.... A house that we quickly would recall to and drop loot from kills. You did not touch my real house... The keep filled with REAL loot. I know you like to believe you got one over on me but it was just a bunch of garbage or else it would be in the real house.

And i did not quit cause of some pixels, i left cause there was no one to give us any competition or hint of excitement while pvping. Its lonely at the top....

Vlastslav wrote:You looted a drop house.... A house that we quickly would recall to and drop loot from kills. You did not touch my real house... The keep filled with REAL loot. I know you like to believe you got one over on me but it was just a bunch of garbage or else it would be in the real house.

And i did not quit cause of some pixels, i left cause there was no one to give us any competition or hint of excitement while pvping. Its lonely at the top....

viewtopic.php?f=21&t=9741

See XVI