UO Second Age

Citizens!,

The March 28th patrol begins with me reporting to Lord British himself. Chief Atraxi is away to far and distant lands as a diplomatic envoy on behalf of Lord British's royal court. In the Chief's absence it is my duty to fill in for him and keep the department in operating form as well as be a stand in for his daily briefing from Lord British.

On this day Lord British gives instructions for the department to check on Moonglow after making sure Britain is secure. He has heard tales of rowdy individuals causing a ruckus in the city, public recall spots being blocked, and thieves stealing from innocents. He wants the BPD to go investigate and take any necessary actions we deem appropriate. He also tells me to make sure the BPD brings an imposing sized force before going to Moonglow in order to let them know who's laws they are to follow.
After securing the various shops and East Britain Bank I arrive at the West bank to make a public announcement as a warning for civility.
Captain Turbo is already on duty and we meet up on the other side of the bank.
We warn the citizens about keeping things civil and what happens if they get out of line.
Rothchild does not heed BPD's warning and will not heed our demands for arrest. Turbo and I have no choice but to follow strict police procedure.
According to BPD's Academy of Criminal Justice; any criminals who will not cooperate with law enforcement are fair game to pursue with lethal force. We kill Rothchild in the name of Justice to establish Order and our weapons are quenched with the blood of the corrupt.
Two of our newest cadets; Customs Agent and Shirley Colmes, show up not long after Order is established in Britain. We make sure we are properly prepared before heading out in case the feces hits the proverbial fan. This will be their first patrol but an important one because Order must be established in Moonglow. Things have gotten out of hand.
When the BPD arrives in Moonglow it does not take long to find out that there is a certain miner named Cold Steel who is the one causing public disturbance issues. He pretty much incriminates himself from the get go. We try to play him slow gathering evidence from him while acting as if he is not a priority. He seems really nervous that the King's personal law enforcement authorities have arrived. He also does not want us there for some odd reason that he has no real basis for. This situation requires a little more obscure investigation on our part so he is not upset anymore than he already is.
The two cadets and I keep Cold Steel focused on us while Captain Turbo investigates the premises. When Turbo returns he reports that there is a big unattended sheep farm blocking the recall spots in question and that the sheep have been badly abused and neglected. part 2 is next

It seems the longer we are in Moonglow the more angry he becomes. For a miner he seems very hot tempered and appears to be heavily intoxicated. He thinks simply telling us to go to back to Britain will make us break from the current assignment Lord British has sent us here on.
He continues to "claim" we do not belong in Moonglow. I let him know that Lord British allows us to patrol anywhere we want. He thinks it does not make sense that we are there.
Captain Turbo and Customs Agent reminds him that Lord British owns all the cities in Sosaria that has his royal guards present in them.
Cold Steel is further enraged by this fact and claims all of Moonglow is his.
The citizens of Moonglow have grow weary of this appointed false tyrant and one of them named caveman gives Cold Steel a piece of his mind regarding the situation.
This enrages Cold Steel into using a common bigotted homophobic 5 letter word.
Customs Agent lets Cold Steel know that we are here for "illegals."

For those that do not know, an "illegal(s)" in Sosaria according to article VI of the BPD Academy of Criminal Justice is:
"1.any person(s)/thing(s) that causes a public disturbance or danger to civillians or animals.
2.any subtance(s)/thing(s) that is illegal according to the laws established by Lord British."

This upsets Cold Steel and he makes false accustions as to what Customs Agent is doing standing behind him.
Cold Steel incriminates himself further by revealing the methods of how he has become so intoxicated to the point of raging beyond no return. Then "a placer miner" asks us what our business is in Moonglow to which I kindly have a reply for. After our purpose there is doubted "a placer miner" politely goes on to do whatever "a placer miner" does and excuses itself from our presence.
Cold Steel evidently has a devious plan to try to blow me up with a strange box or is trying to bribe me. I politely refuse the strange gift and let him know the BPD does not take bribes.
He is starting to get out of hand and in order to not cause a further scene Captain Turbo tries anything he can think of to calm him down and to let him know he is acting very silly. This seems to only make matters worse.... part 3 is next

I let Cold Steel know that all his raging and obscene language is documented for evidence. This evidence is located all throughout this report for the public to see after it has been properly processed by the BPD and given to Lord British.

He then offers to hire us as his personal mining body guards. Captain Turbo informs him that public officials working under Lord British are not to be contracted out. He is upset by this and offers us sexual favors. I quickly respond letting him know that the BPD do not take sexual favors from anyone. He then turns his attention to cadet Shirley Colmes who is one of our female officers.
He begins to sexually harass and degrade her in a public place. She is polite in giving him the much wiser and civil option of going back to work instead of the public spectacle he has created for himself. I make the statement "and they wonder why there are never any women in Glow," as a ploy to get his attention off of this innocent cadet.

He states he has been in a cave for the last two weeks to which I respond, "it shows citizen...it shows." This observation by me seems to make him calm down and think about what he is doing enough so that we can focus on the next task at hand.
After calming down the heavily intoxicated miner we turn our attention to the next issue of Mooglow. There is a mal nourished and abused flock of sheep blocking innocent civillians recall spots. Since the owner is not around it is deemed illegal only because innocent civillians could be killed if they are in danger and cannot recall to these spots.

As Customs Agent impounds them for the safety of the public and the sheep, Cold Steel asks about joining BPD. Upon hearing about the initiation process he is amazed that Shirley slayed a Balron barehanded. Cold Steel will have no chance at ever becoming a BPD member because a member of the BPD has to have a level and calm head. Hot heads and ragers need not apply.
As we explain the various reasons to him of why the sheep are being impounded he jumps Customs Agent's gate. He is now a prisoner of the Britannia Police Department at the BPD HQ. Shirley Colmes has a brilliant idea and we decide not to let him out due to the circumstances about his conduct and intoxication among other things. I also note that he has been in caves far too long.
After I state the fact that he has lost all manners "Mr.T Fools" (who I refer to as Mr.T ver.2 [not the Mr.T everyone knows]) runs up to greet us and asks about our thief head count. It was a slow night and I let him know that we have only gotten one so far.

"Mr.T Fools" scurries away and a foul creature named Charon appears wearing very dirty rags as clothes. He asks why we have jailed his friend Cold Steel. I make him aware of the various transgressions Cold Steel has made that include the sexual harassment of our lady cadet Shirley Colmes.

Charon then asks what happened to the sheep but does not make a claim to them. I explain why they have been impounded to him. When Charon asks where exactly his friend Cold Steel is I plainly state "in jail."

Turbo departs for the night and we say our goodbyes to him.
Charon totally flips out and rages at us yelling "free Cold Steel" among other meaner things. Customs Agent and I remind him again of the reasons why he is in BPD's jail and we won't let him out. All it does is make him rage more.
Shirley Colmes is new to the force and is not as used to the verbal abuse an officer of the law has to endure on a daily basis by the lowlifes in Sosaria. Having heard enough foul language she states the obvious and I agree.
having completed our assignment given to us by Lord British we return to WBB. I notice a local known thief using a disguise kit. Upon further inspection he is perma gray. As I try to make the arrest the thief goes on the run with us in hot pursuit. After chasing the thief for a while he escapes the clutches of Justice and recalls away.
There are no other thieves around Britain so we make sure all the other towns in Sosaria are secure. Here is some screens of us checking just a few of them. Not even Buc's Den had a thief.
We arrive back at WBB again and are met by a furious Charon. Instead of being level headed about the situation he just rages at us. I state the fact that these guys never learn. part 4 is next

Charon continues with the insults and rage at the BPD for simply doing our jobs.
We decide to check up on our prisoner to make sure of his good well being. As we arrive at BPD HQ we notice the familiar smell of Cold Steel. Charon had followed us to the HQ and is not done with the insults.
As Grey Snow passes the HQ Charon pleads for help freeing his friend. At first Grey Snow does not know what he is talking about. After realizing what is going on Grey Snow says, "they can do what they want," and runs off.

Being confident that the prisoner is in good health despite his hygeine issues we proceed to make sure the citizens at WBB are safe.

Randall Flagg (who used to be the Chief of Moonglow Police Dept.[link to story about the MPD] who is now GM of the Sunset Riders[link to story of most likely reason MPD was disbanded] ) runs up to us asking about who is going to free HIS miner. Upon hearing the length of time his miner would be incarcerated without bail he is flabbergasted.
Randall Flagg then wants to know what is the bail and charges his miner faces. Since I am logging evidence of this event for the sake of public transparency, I hand Customs Agent the bail docket and let Randall know his miner brought all this upon himself. Customs Agent lets him know that his miner will not be charged for the foul smell and we are letting that slide.

The actual charges are:
Randall seems a little annoyed but more level headed than his friends. He talks about how his miner is messing up his mining operation. Perhaps if his miner would have been mining instead of causing a ruckus in Moonglow this never would have happened.

As the known thief known as Jerk runs up (not perma gray) to say he is a cop, Randall starts to get demanding and states he needs his miner out NOW.

Customs Agent makes things clear that he needs to hire more competent miners who actually do more mining instead of causing scenes in the middle of town. Randall admits that his miner has anger management issues and that he knows Jerk is NOT a cop of any kind.
Upon hearing of the sexual harassment charges, Randall, apologizes about his miner's actions to Shirley. He then seems willing to pay the bail and asks us how much.
As Custom Agent lets him know the bail will be 5,000gp Randall is flabbergasted again and decides to let his miner stay in prison. I will make a personal comment here and say it is kinda sad that his friend is not even worth 5k to him since that is not very much for a GM of a guild at all.
Randall Flagg starts to get angry and says they are going to break his miner out of jail instead. I let him know 5k is not nearly that bad compared to what would have happened if Lord Derrick would have been the one to jail him. the conclusion is next

As a local non-perma gray thief is wondering what in the world we are talking about Randall starts complaining about how we threw his friend in jail.

A good while later a gate appears in front of us out of know where. Cold Steel emerges and is so excited about his new found freedom due to his friends breaking him out of jail that the first thing he does is curse at us.
We had went to all of the towns in Sosaria, patrolled WBB a good while, and spent some time in front of BPD HQ making sure of his good well being while he was locked up. A total time of almost 3hrs real world time and 2 or 3 days UO time.

So I ask him if he enjoyed his time in jail. He admits to unmentionable things he did to the impounded sheep that was in there with him.
Shortly after that the scoundrel known as Fagoma Saclifter is perma gray. I lead the cadets into using the BPD "box in" formation and let them pummel the criminal as he is resisting arrest. They both got their first arrest at the same time.

A fitting end to a very strange night indeed. Thanks for your time good citizens and we work to protect and serve the innocents of Sosaria.


Border Patrol out.

Great report!

Back in the days of our solo patrol days our means for dispensing justice were limited to the length of our blades. Now with our new cadets our reach for restoring justice and instilling peace in the land is extending every day!