Although this log will eventually focus upon Bambi the Skara Brae Stablemaster, it must begin with why we sought her out in the first place. Our first attempt to reduce the number of tamed dragons in Britannia involved kidnapping Arlin, the Britain Castle stable's stablemaster. In scanning the forums, we knew that stablemasters are in fact the most powerful creatures in all of Britannia, and therefore did not kidnap him by force, but rather lured him out of his stable using the optimal method--one determined through experimentation and complex analysis. He was thus led onto a sea-faring vessel, where we could quickly ferry him to an optimal location where he would not be found for a long, long time.
Things were going well, and we held him there for a few days. However, as time passed, I could tell that there was something wrong with him... He was growing more and more agitated as the time passed by. Not much existed in my memory banks regarding stablemaster pyschology, so I was at a loss for what he was doing and why. I was able to draw only a few conclusions: From the fact that he was constantly looking and attempting to walk (in spite of being bound by an optimally-placed wooden box) in the direction of his stable... indeed, his gaze was so precise that I could only believe that he was somehow magically bound to it.
Indeed, based upon the evidence, it appeared that he was magically bound in a way that I (or anybody else in my records) had never encountered. I grew concerned that Arlin might in some way unleash his full fury upon me, and considered for a nanosecond that it might be time to just blow him up and rid the world of 1 more human... of course, this plan was not even close to optimal, considering how much more protection would be afforded to Britannia by first waiting for the tamed dragons in the stable to go crazy and flee from the stable and THEN destroying him.
I gathered from his contorted, focused, and sometimes flinching facial expressions that he was somehow concentrating all his mental energies on his stable. In fact, I sent a brother bazooka to investigate. The fellow bazooka radioed the surveillance video to me, and I found that the flinches occurred at the PRECISE moment that some human entered the stable and exuded the "vendor buy" or "stable" command. This, of course, was followed by a running-around-with-their-head-cut-off approach at trying to locate the missing stablemaster.
These are some of the highlights of the stable surveillance: Note that these images were taken in chronological order (without repeats)
A fellow named "The Q" apparently was so distraught by the stablemaster's absence, that he took his anger out upon the animals in the stable! A pox on him for his cruelty!
It looks like Laura really wants to refresh her incarcerated creatures!
The nearby macroer tried to assuage her distress by trying to respond like a stablemaster in Arlin's absence.
... and The Q returns...
turok apparently thought that by teleporting INTO a stall, he might have better luck communicating with the missing stablemaster.
Laura returns with what appears to be a freshly poached white wyrm.
Suddenly a creature whom the bazookas had never before seen appeared upon the scene... A creature with such a strong electromagnetic aura as to almost render the surveillance bazooka inoperational. Its name was "Braden".
It was at precisely the time the Braden creature appeared that Arlin suddenly became very still and focused. He started chanting towards the heavens "Take me back to the stable! I must go back and feed the animals and pick up their poo!". Such dedication to a cause I have only seen in machines like me; never before have I observed it in humans. Apparently this higher power was listening because its incarnation (Braden) appeared before me...
I had never encountered such a powerful being (according to the available shard records, it is called a GM)-- who can locate and rescue a single human among the massive population that infests Britannia and return him to where he wants to go. It appeared highly probable that these powerful creatures were somehow involved in the diabolical enchantment that binds the stablemasters to their shops!... how else could he so quickly locate the missing stablemaster?
The historical records of the shard indicate that at one time, one of these beings was slain... which is excellent news just in case that they prove to be a threat to Britannia... and based on the fact that he returned Arlin to the stables, thus enabling the continued bondage of the powerful beasts, these GM's might be a great threat indeed.
Due to the presence of Braden, my surveillance bazooka required a reboot to regain his motor control... and during that process, a fellow came to destroy him (perhaps associated with Lord mister cherry--no longer a "Lord", and also apparently very brain-damaged considering his forgetting to wear pants)... The man had a difficult time at it, and so he enslaved some nearby creatures to assist him in his assault. Being incapacitated during the motor control system reboot, my surveillance bazooka brother was defeated by this man and his army of inhumanely treated animals.
In any case, it became clear that we lacked sufficient data regarding these stablemasters. It was time to do some studies and analysis... This led us to Bambi, the Skara Brae stablemaster.
TO BE CONTINUED in Tales of a Bazooka Pt. 8
...
. Of course, if it weren't impossible, we wouldn't be revealing this trade secret to you 
. bazookas have a sacred mission, you know, so we generally can't go revealing our intel until after it becomes obsolete.