Pt1: viewtopic.php?f=38&t=33735
Pt2: viewtopic.php?f=38&t=33739
As promised in our previous tale, this post will demonstrate that Lord mister cherry, in his severely brain-damaged state, grew extremely offended by the hole in the Britain West Bank roof. In that previous encounter, he repeatedly said "fy" and "ahole" to us, for which expression we found the most probable interpretation to be "Fie! A Hole!" ("fie" being an expression of dismay and distaste, according to dictionary.com). After witnessing the events that will be related in THIS Tales of a bazooka, we became absolutely convinced of the correctness of this interpration.
At the conclusion of our last Tales of a bazooka, we were certain that Lord mister cherry remained alive, in spite of the fact that we blew him up several times. We were sure that we would find him again, and find him we did. Where? West Brit bank. What was he doing? He was sitting IN the roof hole! Yes, it is difficult to believe. Apparently, in his brain-damaged state, he was SO disgusted by the hole, that he decided it was best to plug it himself... with his own body (and that of his mount).
Naturally, we saw this as another great opportunity to blow him up and (we hoped) finish the job once and for all. At the time we encountered him, he appeared to be in some kind of trance-like state. In our experience with humans, we have noted several Britannians enter such a state of stupor; it usually means that they are completely defenseless. We acted quickly, contacting and conspiring with some human suicide bombers who are convinced of the justice and wisdom of our cause in order to bring about his demise. We would have dispatched the Silent Bombers (who are far more reliable) of the first Lord mister cherry bazooka tale to do the job, but they were guard whacked one too many times and ceased to function (it was a sad day when we had to bury their mechanical parts).
Interestingly, even as our human friends acted EXTREMELY suspicious (dropping their bombs on the ground for all to see rather than trading them covertly), Lord mister cherry did not appear to notice.
We were doubly sorry that we were forced to turn to human allies when we saw the result of their work. Their attempt to bomb Lord mister cherry was an utter failure, although it was partially our fault for not foreseeing this turn of events. It turned out he was not in a trance as others are... he was, in fact, at full attention. The fact that he APPEARED (yes, even to our fine-tuned sensors) to be in "the trance" while still at full attention can only be explained by the previously inflicted brain-damage. The said brain-damage was not enough, however, to overcome his survival instincts; the moment the explosions touched him, he reflexively fell through the hole in defense (yes, ironically, the very hole that he has such great distaste for actually saved his life).
The bazookas were surprised by this, but we are certainly not programmed to give up easily. We brought our human allies back to life and radioed new instructions. The plan came together quickly. It was so full of irony that even we were surprised at how perfectly it came together.
You see, Lord mister cherry--in spite of the fact that he barely escaped our assault--headed right back to that hole in the roof. He obviously wanted it plugged SO badly (the words echo in our memory: Fie! Fie! Fie! A Hole! A Hole!).
Appealing to our grand sense of humor (especially for the ironic) given to us by Lord British, our new design involved us first plugging the hole completely (you see, even with his mount, he only plugged a small fraction of the hole), and THEN blowing him up. In fact, to give him exactly what he desired most and follow it up immediately with blowing him up appealed to both our sense of humor AND our sense of compassion.
Our human allies enacted the plan as quickly as humanly possible (not quick enough, I say).
Lord mister cherry continued to sit in the hole in his brain-damage induced stupor, while the humans set up the attack. I was almost certain, considering how slowly the humans worked, that mister cherry would snap out of his stupor and move (especially considering the same humans who had just attacked him were hanging about him acting suspicious). It appears the stupor was too deep, however, for him to realize what was going on.
After all was set, the 2 human bombers quickly put the plan into action--just in time, as a couple enemies of our human friends appeared and were almost certainly going to strike them down. As the bombs flew, Lord mister cherry stirred from his stupor, but it was already too late even for his survival instinct to save him.
We have attached the video evidence of this encounter for your review. Note that there is a trade that occurs at 9:42, so you must close the trade window as soon as it opens or your client will probably crash (that's how it works for mine, anyway).
