UO Second Age

Bloodrock:
In Their Midst
by J. Goodall Farlander


The great man in contemplation - Goodal Farlander

Forward
Soon I will begin a study that I believe will be of great benefit to my chosen field of cultural anthropology. When it came time to choose a topic for my doctoral thesis at the Britain Royal Academy I was at a loss. That is until I heard of the Bloodrock Orcs.
There exists, some distance northwest of Minoc and Vesper, near the Shrine of Compassion, an actual community of orcs who not only live in a large group, but have constructed a stockade. This completely contradicts the long-held belief that orcs are a semi-nomadic race incapable of forming advanced societal structures. I plan to go and live among them, to study them. It shouldn't be to difficult, given my knowledge of uncivilized savages and my training in learning languages, to ensconce myself within this group. Perhaps they shall make me one of their tribe.
My brother, Rad Farlander, the adventurer has picked up some Orcish in his travels. He has given me a key introductory phrase that I may use to quickly get through the riff-raff to an audience with the Orcish chieftain.
I have outfitted myself in jaunty traveling attire that is sure to draw attention and command respect.

I do cut a dashing figure

I had wanted a stylish black staff, but as it was too heavy, a simple shepherd's crook shall have to serve me as a walking stick. Tomorrow, I set forth to achieve fame as the preeminent cultural anthropologist in the history of Britain. I wonder if I should contact a bard now to begin the epic song of my journeys?

Day 1
My first encounter with the Bloodrock Orcs did not go well. It seems that the introductory phrase my brother gave me, apparently “Ru'eeg'a jat! Gib ee ur shin-nies er ee clomp u! Grubek chak!” does not mean, “Hail, honored warrior. I seek an audience with your glorious and mighty leader.”


Day 1-Helpful phrase, my foot!


Day 1-Dead

At least it would seem so from the way the healer who resurrected me fell to the ground laughing uncontrollably. Seriously, I couldn't get a coherent word out of the man. I finally just left him there, still guffawing and gasping for breath.
Without my equipment, or an escort (the one I hired refused to cross into orcs territory) I can't make it back to Britain. So I shall use my wits and resources to continue my mission
I'm sure Rad did it on purpose. My second and fifth resurrections were made necessary by his “pranks.” He never could get over the fact that Mom liked me better.

Day 2
After a rest I set off to see if I might reclaim some of my possessions from my former body. No such luck.
I crept back to the orc stronghold, careful to stay under cover of the trees and hiding when anyone came near. As I neared the gate I saw Gruul, the orc mage that killed me and some guards picking through my belongings. One of the guards put on my traveling ensemble. What had looked quite dashing on my figure now appeared to be the garb of one who deals in women of negotiable affection.


Day 2-One size does NOT fit all

Eventually they tired of their game and the orc threw my clothing down in disgust.


Day 2-The orc rejects my ensemble

Now the real horror was to begin. The orcs began to dismember my corpse, not with knives or axes mind you, they literally ripped me apart with their bare hands. It was a good thing I had not yet eaten since being resurrected because it is impossible to hide while losing ones repast. It was all I could do to keep from screaming and revealing myself. After my body was in pieces, the desecration continued as they lay the body parts out like some bizarre mannequin with my hat in place of my head, which they carted off.


Day 2-The horror!

After they left, I crept in and investigated the carnage. There was of course, nothing left on my remains except for the hat, which was now so stained with blood and orc sweat that I left it. My mission will apparently have to be carried out with minimal equipage. I shall also have to employ a much more stealthy approach to studying these savages. I must learn their language and find a way to make contact.


Day 2-Minimal equipage

Someone please get this man a new pimp hat!

Awesomeness. Keep these coming.

Umie beddur lern tu choom er heems gunna peep Belok......er heem hab tu lern tu tayke trybut wid heem!!!


Uruk lub grog an grub tu!!!!!

Epic stuff here, NOOGGRRAAAHH!!!

Day 3
Just when I thought it couldn't get worse.

This morning, as I was trying to observe the Bloodrock clan I was caught out in the open by a particularly nasty orc named Dahhbin. He and a partner surrounded me. Trust me, two big orcs with weapons is plenty enough to surround an academic. The followed the usual demand of, “U gib trybute.”


An impossible demand.

I'm not sure how much is pidgin British and how much comes from native orcish, but this would seem to translate to, “You (must) give tribute (to me).” I was not sure is he meant gold, which I could not give, or a show of obeisance, which as a loyal subject of Lord Britain, I would not.
Dahhbin then ordered me to remove my robe! I have never been so offended.


Me, being ordered to disrobe

I refused, but when weapons were brandished, it seemed best to cooperate.


They press their argument.

I was then subjected to ridicule by the hateful beasts.


Humiliation.

Pot...kettle...black.


"No" I'd said. "Don't travel in summer. It's too hot." Idiot.

Believing the situation would escalate, I was in fear for my life (or worse). However, the orcs caught sight of an armed warrior on a steed trying to pass through their territory. I chose that moment to beat a hasty retreat.
So now, I wander the wilderness naked, cold, and alone. Woe unto me, oh child of man. I pray for Death to come.
(At least then I'll have a resurrection robe.)


Seriously, someone kill me.

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Goodal's Orcish to British dictionary
uu – pronounced “oo” - Translation “you”
gib – pronounced “gib” - Translation “give”
trybute – pronounced “truh-boot” - Translation “tribute” (Not sure of the type meant.)
ugli– pronounced “ugg-lee” - I'm pretty sure this means, "ugly."
(These are probably not true orcish words but part of the pidgin vernacular they use to speak to humans. I shall have to work on stealth so that I may observe their speech in talking to one another.)

I'll carry an extra suit of male clothing if I adventure out into the wilds, just for you. " smile"

A brave and interesting adventure, fun to read, if not to live through ( )

Keep the adventure coming,

Westra

Day 5
No observations yesterday or today as I have spent the whole time in my bedroll, laid up with a cold. You will recognize this as the natural result of running around naked after orcs have stolen your clothing.

At one point, last night, there was some sort of ruckus off in the direction of the orc fort.

Maybe they were having a party, maybe they were attacked, maybe it was Wednesday. I don't know. I didn't receive the Blackthorne Scholarship four years in a row for beig daft. I'm smart enough to stay well away when something like that is going on.


Me, staying well away.

All of the above

I'm still working on this. I've just been ill and only doing a little light macroing.

You better get your move on, because in 4 days the URK extermination comences.

Pirul wrote:You better get your move on, because in 4 days the URK extermination comences.

Dat wat Uu tink ummie...HOHOHO *farts*

I was snooping around the Urk fort the other day and ran into you collecting your belongings from your fresh corpse. I was wondering what a fellow like you was doing out there! This is great information and please continue as long as possible. If you need an education grant to further your research please let me know.