Life Lessons I've learned from Ultima Online.

[Atraxi]

(1) If your friend dies, don't worry! Just put a band-aid on him and he will be just fine.

(2) Need to learn something really fast? Just do it in your sleep! By the time you wake up, you will have mastered it!

(3) Did someone set you on fire? Don't worry! Just put a band-aid on it and you will be just fine.

(4) If you get bored with being you, just make an alternate you! Think 2 personalities in one body is bad? Try ONE personality in 2 different bodies! Or 15! Whatever you like!

(5) If you are patient enough, and have enough band-aids (see #3), you can kill a fire-breathing dragon by beating on it with a stick!

(6) Did someone cut your pet rat in half with an axe? Don't worry! Just put a band-aid on it and it will be just fine!

(7) It is perfectly safe to stack a bunch of foot stools up and climb up them to get on the roof of your house.

(8) Did you fall off of the stack of foot stools while trying to get on the roof of your house? Don't worry about that broken arm! Just put a band-aid on it and it will be just fine!

(9) Do people keep breaking into your house and stealin your shit? Just put some tables and a trash can by your front door and your house will be completely safe!

(10) Did you accidentally drink the poison you were tryin to put on your sword? Don't worry! Just put a band-aid on it and you will feel just fine!

(11) You can tame any creature, from kitty cats to fire-breathing dragons, just by saying "I've always wanted a friend like you" and "I won't hurt you".

(12) You can run your boat into a bridge at full speed and suffer no damage at all.

(13) Did you encounter land while sailing? Just pick your boat up and put it in your pocket while you walk across.

I will add more as I think of them. Can you think of any? Just reply to this and tell me!

[Maleus]

Good Stuff.

[Pirul]

[Cattie B]

if you dont like your house placement , simply pick it, put in in your backpack and move it.

[Psilo]

If someone steals from you kill them to get your thing back.

[tidestale]

LOCK YOUR HOUSE!

[Atraxi]

Ok, its time for more!

(14) The better you get at playing your musical instrument, the more you piss people off.

(15) Don't want those metal things that are cluttering your house up? SMELT IT!!

(16) It's perfectly safe to hang a key on the wall on your front porch.

(17) If you're in town, its ok to brutally murder someone in a basement. Law enforcement can't get to you there.

(18) Nobody can steal your castle as long as it's in your backpack.

(19) Nobody can steal your boat as long as it's in your backpack.

(20) Cut someone's arm apart, and you have human jerky.

(21) You can instantly cook 20k fish steaks by dropping the whole pile on a candle.

(22) Need some money from the ATM? You don't need to stop! Just yell "Withdraw" as you run by and you get your money!

(23) "You cannot seem to focus your concentration" has nothing to do with ADD.

more to come.

[Barid]

No matter how small the crime, the only punishment is a halberd to the face.

If your horse is getting tired just tell it to follow you.

[ApolloX]

If you see a crime in action...call the guards.

If the cops are chasing you...paralyze them.

You can kill that X=family member you always hated by simply visiting your nearest graveyard.

Saying the words "recsu" or "recdu" take you to and from a magical land while standing on a pentagram.

[Zelek Uther]

You can hide while standing in a completely open field, even while holding a stick that's on fire.

Once you are hidden, people can walk right into you, and still not see you.

To extract ore from a mountain, you can use a shovel. You don't need to hold it, it just needs to sit in your backpack. Then beat on the mountain with your fists.

Processing raw ore requires no equipment other than a fiercely blazing forge. Don't worry about the heat, just use your bare hands to place the ore into the forge. When you pull back, you'll have a nice stack of ingots!

If you are a really good Wrestler, and you cast a spell, getting hit on the head with a Cutlass shouldn't break your concentration. If it splits your face in half, don't worry! Just put a band-aid on it and you will be just fine.

Bitten by a deadly poisonous snake? Don't worry! Just take a sip of orange juice and you will be just fine.

[Atraxi]

If it splits your face in half, don't worry! Just put a band-aid on it and you will be just fine...Bitten by a deadly poisonous snake? Don't worry! Just take a sip of orange juice and you will be just fine.

YES!!! Just the other day, I was trying to think of some new ones so I could resurrect this thread.

I thank thee, kind sir.

[Orrin]

Lol..

[Huzke]

I can start and stop any fight by banging on a drum.

[archaicsubrosa77]

Eating doesn't cause obesity...in fact you get so light you can actually walk through people
Most people look to the day they can summon daemons.
Running down the street in your underwear is perfectly legal.
Even those with very low stamina can outlast most mounts.

[Zelek Uther]

You find yourself surrounded by vicious, snarling monsters.

Nearby, there are two people available to help you, but you may choose only one:
A) A buff warrior in full plate armour, on a horse, shield deployed, wielding a razor sharp poisoned broadsword, or
B) A pale, weedy guy clutching a tambourine.

From your UO experience, which one should you choose?

Yep. Tambourine boy every time.