chumbucket's Tales of Adventure: The Stolen Hammer
- chumbucket
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chumbucket's Tales of Adventure: The Stolen Hammer
As a few of you know, I am the much beloved chumbucket. Indeed, I am both of the chumbuckets. And I have a tale for you. I was doing my normal routine, stealing at the bank, when I came across a decent prize: A Warhammer of Power. But, alas, it was in the backpack of one Hemperor of T2A. I would have to steal it.
The first attempt at the steal fails. In come the guards. But recall that there are two chumbuckets! Attempt number two goes off without a hitch. Into the bank goes the hammer. I accost Hemperor for having looted the quarterstaff of the first chumbucket. Thief! Give it back! This goes on for some time when, suddenly and out of nowhere, Hemperor attacks! We trade mace blows back and forth for a while; I have the upperhand most of the fight until I clumsily knock my poorly placed modem off the computer desk. CONNECTION LOST.
I log back in, expecting the worst. But what I find is something unexpected. Hemperor has called in the reserves, T2A has mobilized and I am surrounded. Now, mind you, they're not attacking me--only Hemperor is doing that. But they do have me pinned in and I am almost out of stamina. The one time I don't pack some red potions! I am still winning the fight, but Hemperor's allies not only block me in but heal him as well. Eventually, I am doomed to run out of bandages and die. And they know it: The taunts come fast. We're putting this on YouTube! That will teach you! We have to do this to run the thieves out of town! Things look grim for your hero.
But being a thief has its advantages in combat, especially when your opponent must stand still. I start stealing his bandages. He can't get me because I keep healing, so he resorts to trying to poison me occasionally to block my heals. Now, this is a smart move on his part, but in this particular situation it has two drawbacks. One, I land all my blows when he is trying to get through my resist. Two, and this is the more dire drawback, I steal his weapons when he unequips for casting.
So now I have his mace. Someone brings him a war axe. I take it at the next poison. Along the way, some friendly souls healed me and gave me a few bits of food to keep my swing speed up. God bless you generous souls. But I digress. More and more of Hemperor's allies arrive. He pleads for macing weapons. At one point he is using a shepherd's crook! Someone hands off a quarterstaff that I steal before Hemperor can even get it equipped. And--what's this?--an eminently accurate quarter staff of vanquishing?
I equip it and things happen fast. The exceptional warhammer (crafted by the fine folks at the T2A shop, or so the inscription reads) I had been using did good damage and I almost killed him a few times. But the staff...my friends, the staff dishes out a huge amount of damage in a very short period of time--so much, so fast that the T2A healers have no time to react. Down goes Hemperor. OoOOooOo.
I laugh so hard I fail to loot anything. But I have my hammer and my staff. And, frankly, I feel there is a sort of moral to be learned from all of this, but I can't quite figure it out. I'll give a warhammer of power to whoever does.
The first attempt at the steal fails. In come the guards. But recall that there are two chumbuckets! Attempt number two goes off without a hitch. Into the bank goes the hammer. I accost Hemperor for having looted the quarterstaff of the first chumbucket. Thief! Give it back! This goes on for some time when, suddenly and out of nowhere, Hemperor attacks! We trade mace blows back and forth for a while; I have the upperhand most of the fight until I clumsily knock my poorly placed modem off the computer desk. CONNECTION LOST.
I log back in, expecting the worst. But what I find is something unexpected. Hemperor has called in the reserves, T2A has mobilized and I am surrounded. Now, mind you, they're not attacking me--only Hemperor is doing that. But they do have me pinned in and I am almost out of stamina. The one time I don't pack some red potions! I am still winning the fight, but Hemperor's allies not only block me in but heal him as well. Eventually, I am doomed to run out of bandages and die. And they know it: The taunts come fast. We're putting this on YouTube! That will teach you! We have to do this to run the thieves out of town! Things look grim for your hero.
But being a thief has its advantages in combat, especially when your opponent must stand still. I start stealing his bandages. He can't get me because I keep healing, so he resorts to trying to poison me occasionally to block my heals. Now, this is a smart move on his part, but in this particular situation it has two drawbacks. One, I land all my blows when he is trying to get through my resist. Two, and this is the more dire drawback, I steal his weapons when he unequips for casting.
So now I have his mace. Someone brings him a war axe. I take it at the next poison. Along the way, some friendly souls healed me and gave me a few bits of food to keep my swing speed up. God bless you generous souls. But I digress. More and more of Hemperor's allies arrive. He pleads for macing weapons. At one point he is using a shepherd's crook! Someone hands off a quarterstaff that I steal before Hemperor can even get it equipped. And--what's this?--an eminently accurate quarter staff of vanquishing?
I equip it and things happen fast. The exceptional warhammer (crafted by the fine folks at the T2A shop, or so the inscription reads) I had been using did good damage and I almost killed him a few times. But the staff...my friends, the staff dishes out a huge amount of damage in a very short period of time--so much, so fast that the T2A healers have no time to react. Down goes Hemperor. OoOOooOo.
I laugh so hard I fail to loot anything. But I have my hammer and my staff. And, frankly, I feel there is a sort of moral to be learned from all of this, but I can't quite figure it out. I'll give a warhammer of power to whoever does.
Last edited by chumbucket on Mon Oct 13, 2008 7:09 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: Chumbucket's Tales of Adventure: The Stolen Hammer
Never underestimate yourself and don't ever give up young thief!
The fight aint over until the T2A ghost sings OOooO o oOOo oOO
The fight aint over until the T2A ghost sings OOooO o oOOo oOO
- chumbucket
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Re: Chumbucket's Tales of Adventure: The Stolen Hammer
Well, maybe, but I was thinking there was a moral for other people involved in the incident. Good try, but the contest for the hammer continues!ironfistmax wrote:Never underestimate yourself and don't ever give up young thief!
The fight aint over until the T2A ghost sings OOooO o oOOo oOO
Re: Chumbucket's Tales of Adventure: The Stolen Hammer
that was like reading a published story.
The First Player Of UO Second Age.
Re: Chumbucket's Tales of Adventure: The Stolen Hammer
Eduardo wrote:I feel there is a sort of moral to be learned from all of this, but I can't quite figure it out. I'll give a warhammer of power to whoever does.
dont swim until 30 minutes after you eat?
chumbucket wrote:Roleplays?!?GomerPyle wrote:chum RPs a thief
- chumbucket
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Re: Chumbucket's Tales of Adventure: The Stolen Hammer
I'm not sure I see it. The contest for the hammer continues!Teknix wrote:Eduardo wrote:I feel there is a sort of moral to be learned from all of this, but I can't quite figure it out. I'll give a warhammer of power to whoever does.
dont swim until 30 minutes after you eat?
Re: Chumbucket's Tales of Adventure: The Stolen Hammer
The moral of the story here is obviously that you NEVER mess with the chumbuckets! If you do, you will fall to the floor and lose your vanq ooOOoOooOo. Very nice story hehehe.
- chumbucket
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Re: Chumbucket's Tales of Adventure: The Stolen Hammer
Can GM even use a warhammer?Maahes wrote:The moral of the story here is obviously that you NEVER mess with the chumbuckets! If you do, you will fall to the floor and lose your vanq ooOOoOooOo. Very nice story hehehe.
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Re: Chumbucket's Tales of Adventure: The Stolen Hammer
Moral of the Story: Thank God Chumbucket didn't try to steal a weapon from Ironfist or the outcome to this story would be different.
Re: Chumbucket's Tales of Adventure: The Stolen Hammer
Dont get caught with your pants down(or wep down) you just might loose everything?
Re: Chumbucket's Tales of Adventure: The Stolen Hammer
Set your razor to unequip your weapons into a secondary bag hidden under 3 layers of clothing
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Re: Chumbucket's Tales of Adventure: The Stolen Hammer
Don't PvP unless you have consumed at least 3 alcoholic beverages.
Re: Chumbucket's Tales of Adventure: The Stolen Hammer
Hemperor here, I must admit it was pretty funny at least. My character is far too weak, as soon as that ended I started macroing my mage. Although I lost a lot of money (among other things) that was supposed to go to my mage.
I recorded the last half of it (it was very long), I'll watch it and see if I feel like posting
After all, you stole about 5 weapons from me, I don't think you deserve a video out of it too
EDIT: My magery on that character is only 30. I've come to realise he's completely useless.
I recorded the last half of it (it was very long), I'll watch it and see if I feel like posting
After all, you stole about 5 weapons from me, I don't think you deserve a video out of it too
EDIT: My magery on that character is only 30. I've come to realise he's completely useless.
[22:26] <ian> why am i making 3750 empty kegs
[22:27] <ian> 1125000 for 3750 empty kegs
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[10:44] <ian> a good cat is a dead cat
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Re: Chumbucket's Tales of Adventure: The Stolen Hammer
Moral of the story: let the guards do your dirtywork.
great story, I bet you had a hell of a time stealing everything from him during the fight! Were you next to the bank? Could you grab stuff from your bank box?
great story, I bet you had a hell of a time stealing everything from him during the fight! Were you next to the bank? Could you grab stuff from your bank box?
Re: Chumbucket's Tales of Adventure: The Stolen Hammer
Guards wouldn't come.brandonsantacruz wrote:Moral of the story: let the guards do your dirtywork.
great story, I bet you had a hell of a time stealing everything from him during the fight! Were you next to the bank? Could you grab stuff from your bank box?
Honestly, this is not how I remember T2A. I don't remember every single person having a thief that they MACROED to GM while they went hunting on their other accounts, in some cases 2 THIEVES. I encountered thieves on real T2A nowhere near the amount I do here and no where near the skill level, it is getting a little ridiculous here. Less acounts needs to be set into place or no macroing or something, for all the work that's been put into a replica server, this one thing called macroing has killed it. I wouldn't actually mind if Chumbucket didnt have 10 other characters who he has just macroed their skills up to.
All this means is he has spent a little more time watching TV while his characters go up and his computer is available to macroing.
Sorry for the rant, but the whole "thief" thing lost any skill to it once macroing came into place, I mean seriously, you macroed 2 of them? Go earn your own shit man.
[22:26] <ian> why am i making 3750 empty kegs
[22:27] <ian> 1125000 for 3750 empty kegs
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[10:44] <ian> a good cat is a dead cat