Tales of a bazooka, Part 12: Hazy & Co vs. Chickens

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the bazookas
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Tales of a bazooka, Part 12: Hazy & Co vs. Chickens

Post by the bazookas »

If you are new to the Tales of a bazooka, I recommend that you check out our former tales through the table of contents here.

NOTE: it has come to my attention that the images aren't always loading correctly. This is probably due to the poor free webhost that I am using. However, if you just press "refresh" a few times, I think it fixes it. If you are still having issues, let me know.

In our continuing mission to protect Britannia (by wiping out all human beings from it), we are constantly optimizing our methods to be as efficient and devastating as possible. We have come up with what we believe to be the ultimate weapon against human-kind. It looks like this:
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Yes, affectionately referred to as the chicken bomb, this weapon has proved the destruction of many a poor unsuspecting victim. How does it work? Well, it's simply a matter of harnessing the pent up rage inherent in all chickens due to humankind's constant exploitation of its race. Why did the chicken cross the road? Yes, that's right: to get to the other side... so that it can blow up the KFC. While the fish steak market has chicken meat beat by a long shot in Britannia, the chickens still have this inborn thirst for vengeance against humans and are still easily guided to perform this noble task.

Here are a few of the results of some of our earlier field tests. If you look carefully, you can see the perpetrator somewhere in the pile of dead bodies:
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In any case, while many have fallen victim to the chicken bomb, one of the most memorable occasions involves a fellow by the name of Hazy. The bazookas have a long history with Hazy (starting with this chicken bombing)... He probably thinks we stalk him, but really it's just a matter of good luck that we happen to bump into him when we are in the process of chicken bombing or other shenanigans. I can't say that we are indiscriminate about who we target (no, Lord British made us too sentient for us to lack a bias), and I also can't say that we don't greatly enjoy blowing him up as frequently as the opportunity presents himself. I'll give him credit, though, for being a good sport. At other times, however, he rages (as you will see). Either way, we enjoy the results.

The first chicken bombing of Hazy & friends in our memory banks occurred in Vesper.

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He tried to assault the chicken, but these particular chickens are ninjas. Luckily for him, a horse is faster than even the speediest ninja.
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Knowing that the chicken couldn't last long with only a few of each reg and a halberd, he retired back to the "chicken coop" to prepare for another attack. The attack came quickly--long before the fresh corpses even had a chance to stiffen (and before the newly ressed Moses even had a chance to loot his corpse).

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Oh no! Certainly this poor chicken won't survive Hazy's assault with only 1% health! Just can't handle the suspense! Regardless, a human ally who had been carefully observing the chicken's technique was called in to finish the job once and for all. He carried the package nobly.
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... yes, and as you can see, the chicken survived. That's what Ninjas do best, after all. Of course, the human bomb carrier did not.

Surprisingly, Hazy survived this entire assault, although the bazookas detected a shared consciousness between him and another character who was destroyed. It was a repeat bombing, each time resulting in a devastating blow to Hazy and/or friends. You'd think that he would decide to take his business elsewhere, but perhaps he suffered from the all-too-familiar-Lord-mister-cherry-brains-been-blown-up-a-few-too-many-times-syndrome, and so we kept the bombs coming.

Hazy confessed that he was impressed by the power of the chicken bomb, and a decent conversation ensued.
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BONUS FEATURE: The other side of Hazy
Hazy and friend were spotted again at Vesper by a bazooka and his machine gun brethren. It was decided that since we had the resources readily available at the time, that the optimal solution to destroying him would be to use an in-town machine gun turret to take him down... so we did.

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Hazy's friend wasted no time in ebolting the poor machine guns... in town.
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Apparently he was "afk", however. That always takes the fun out of it. He made sure to let us know that if he hadn't been afk, then there's no way we would have mowed him down.
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... And we were sure to show him that you should never underestimate a bazooka with a machine gun turret. After one machine gun acknowledged the fact that he was going to die in his sleep (a wish that Hazy expressed), the machine guns sprung into their natural sleep-walking action. Hazy was quick enough to call guards... but not quick enough to survive.
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Next time, I'll post a couple more surgical strike chicken bombs used to take down Hazy & Co... some that can only be classified as "legendary". Until then...
Last edited by the bazookas on Fri May 04, 2012 5:52 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Most people like us, or at least they like what we do. Regardless, we appreciate all our victims, and we hope that their encounter with us is a memorable one.
-a machine gun, a bazooka, and a grenade
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Re: Tales of a bazooka, Part 12: Hazy & Co vs. Chickens

Post by chumbucket »

A+

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Re: Tales of a bazooka, Part 12: Hazy & Co vs. Chickens

Post by azheman »

Well done!

*claps*

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Re: Tales of a bazooka, Part 12: Hazy & Co vs. Chickens

Post by Pirul »

No worky. Neither Chrome nor IE works for me.

Dude, please do Imgur, Photobucket or even Imageshack, dying to see this pics!!
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<ian> 2 chicks making out are not gay

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Re: Tales of a bazooka, Part 12: Hazy & Co vs. Chickens

Post by Trojancow »

*hoof clapping*

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Re: Tales of a bazooka, Part 12: Hazy & Co vs. Chickens

Post by Ragancy »

hahahahaa

bazooka tales are legendary

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Re: Tales of a bazooka, Part 12: Hazy & Co vs. Chickens

Post by Light Shade »

I enjoyed the tale...still can't see the pics, though.

Edit: Pics are working, Epic! :)
Last edited by Light Shade on Fri May 04, 2012 6:08 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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[20:08] <@Kaivan> We have a ridable Maahes in Green Acres.
[10:00] <TheBreadman> leeds did a takeover on secondage
[10:00] <@Derrick> hax


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Re: Tales of a bazooka, Part 12: Hazy & Co vs. Chickens

Post by the bazookas »

Hrrrmm... Sorry about the technical difficulties... very strange that it works for some and not for others. I tried one last tweak (before going to photobucket). Some people still having problems with the pics?
Most people like us, or at least they like what we do. Regardless, we appreciate all our victims, and we hope that their encounter with us is a memorable one.
-a machine gun, a bazooka, and a grenade
... a not-for-profit organization (usually)

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Re: Tales of a bazooka, Part 12: Hazy & Co vs. Chickens

Post by *Hazy »

Lol good tale Fear the chicken!

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Re: Tales of a bazooka, Part 12: Hazy & Co vs. Chickens

Post by LudKrud »

EE nub kan see piktoor eider.....

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Re: Tales of a bazooka, Part 12: Hazy & Co vs. Chickens

Post by the bazookas »

LudKrud wrote:EE nub kan see piktoor eider.....
Hmm... thought I had fixed it (thought it might be a filename capitalization issue)... but it appears not. I've reposted them on Photobucket. Let me know if they still aren't showing up, and I'll put them on a web page.
Most people like us, or at least they like what we do. Regardless, we appreciate all our victims, and we hope that their encounter with us is a memorable one.
-a machine gun, a bazooka, and a grenade
... a not-for-profit organization (usually)

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Re: Tales of a bazooka, Part 12: Hazy & Co vs. Chickens

Post by Sandro »

+1
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Re: Tales of a bazooka, Part 12: Hazy & Co vs. Chickens

Post by Sexy Smithy »

lol, the bazookas are the bestest.
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Re: Tales of a bazooka, Part 12: Hazy & Co vs. Chickens

Post by LudKrud »

Ee peep et now.Beri funni!! Dem umies geddin choomed by dem mucheenz mayke ee laff!!!!

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Re: Tales of a bazooka, Part 12: Hazy & Co vs. Chickens

Post by Ganklord »

:idea:
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okgoace wrote:dont spend too much time with this ganklord character, he is the ultimate griefer, lurker, troll.

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