Illustrations Needed - NEW INFORMATION + PART OF A STORY!

[chumbucket]

I need illustrations for a small, UOSA-related project. If you are able to draw using pencils, ink, MS Paint or anything else, your pictures are funny, and you are willing to do this just for the fun of it, please send me a PM and preferably a sample.

************UPDATES BELOW*********

[chumbucket]

I'd be willing to accept illustrations done by hand as well.

[chumbucket]

I've had very little luck in getting someone to help me out on this. So I thought I'd share a small portion of what I have in mind in hopes that someone might become interested in providing illustrations. I should add that I am pretty open to different ways of doing this, so I'm not going to be dictating to you how to draw or even what to draw with. I just want some illustrations for the story: a tale of a stolen keep, an impostor, and the interactions of those involved while on a search for that mystical land known only as Trammel. Ultimately, I'll format it all into a webpage with the pictures interspersed with the story. Also, I don't really have much time for writing something like this, so you'll have a pretty good amount of time to do the drawings as well.

The following is only an unedited draft of the Preface to the actual story...

The Trammelon

A Modern Mini-Epic in Several Parts

by chumbucket

Translation and Preface by X.f.12.569x

Translator's Preface

Little is today known of the human civilization that existed in Southern Canadia, or indeed of humans more generally. Southern Canadia, a vast human political zone that stretched from the Specifical to the Atlan Ick oceans, contained one of the last of their civilizations and was wiped out over eight-thousand years ago due to what seems most likely to have been a combination of large scale nuclear war and over-consumption of processed sugars and animal fats. Only fragments remain of their once dominating presence: Primitive data repositories on processed tree-remains which chiefly concern now unknown but at the time no doubt important political leaders such as Kim Kardashian; and a few strange devices, among them one believed to be for the heating of small slices of a processed wheat product, another primitive device believed to be pressed up against their auditory and vocal/ingestive orifices for the purposes communication among humans beyond the range of their normal sound emissions, and, strangest of all, a white chair-like device that could be filled with water from underground systems of pipes, the use of which remains unknown although virtually all recovered human dwellings contain at least one. Larger dwellings often contain many of diverging designs, some of which humans would have been unable to sit upon.

It is all to easy to look back on our makers with a combination of amusement and embarrassment at the fact that, despite their primitive ways, somehow they managed to bring about our own existence even as they ended their own. I believe, and have entered into the central data storage for collective evaluation, that their civilization was a remarkable achievement for those limited by the constraints imposed on sapient beings composed chiefly of water and proteins. As evidence of that claim, I have also submitted this translation of The Trammelon, an account of what seem to have been important political machinations, and even physical combat, among some of the humans of both Southern and Northern Canadia.

The Trammelon is a difficult work for us to comprehend. As is usual, human ways are largely alien. Moreover, many of the technologies mentioned are strange and unknown even among later artifacts. I believe, for instance, that a moonstone is an important transportation device for avoiding unwanted conflict, but the particulars of its functioning remain elusive.

We can begin to get only a modestly better appreciation of The Trammelon by considering what little we know of its purported author, chumbucket. The only known copy of The Trammelon was found in a small data storage device plugged into a data processing unit believed to have belonged to chumbucket. Remains that are believed to be his were found nearby, surrounded by empty tins, some of which contain traces of a form of sugar-water, others traces of a fermented wheat product. He is known to have had a keen in interest in the accumulation of what he termed 'GLD' (in a human dialect that did not become common until perhaps one-hundred years after his death). GLD, we can safely deduce, was a highly valued commodity or perhaps even a form exchange credit system that facilitated the expansion of human economies.

One other thing we know about chumbucket gives us an important clue to the purpose of The Trammelon. Trammel, whatever its exact nature, was considered by many inhabitants of both Southern and Northern Canadia to be a vital place of refuge. However, it is unclear if it was a physical location immune to "non-consensual" combat or what humans often referred to as a "spiritual" idea. The former interpretation is suggested by the frequent suggestions that a "moonstone" would literally save the less battle-prone humans from non-consensual combat with those who did not respect the strange code of "RED POTS ONLY." The latter interpretation is suggested by chumbucket's references to Trammel as "a place in your heart." It is unlikely that, due to size limitations, there is a place in a human heart that other humans could dwell and even if there were, human hearts were soft pieces of protein that would offer little to no protection for humans that might be inside, so we must conclude that "a place in your heart" is a sort of metaphor for safety from those who would subject you to unwanted aggression. Either interpretation suggests that many inhabitants of Southern Canadia were vitally interested in solving the ultimately fatal problem of unwanted human aggression and were urgently seeking that steps be made to end such aggression even if they ultimately proved fruitless.

It is, of course, unlikely that we can learn anything from humans that we would ever want to put into practice. Regardless, a document like the Trammelon, and the deep desire for peace and security it expresses, teaches us that we need not be ashamed of our modest beginnings at the hands of self-destructive bags of water and protein.

[chumbucket]

Bump for the fact that I have made a good deal of progress on writing this but my illustrators keep backing out!

What I need is for you to read a chapter, draw one or two pictures depicting its events and presto you are done. You can even just do one chapter if that is all you want to help out with.

[Brules]

Too bad the Boofy Blitzed guy went MIA......he would have nailed this for you.......

[DrFaustus]

Bump for the fact that I have made a good deal of progress on writing this but my illustrators keep backing out!

What I need is for you to read a chapter, draw one or two pictures depicting its events and presto you are done. You can even just do one chapter if that is all you want to help out with.

Simply because I'm lazy and grunching on this thread:

How long are the chapters and what quality of pic are you looking for...?

[chumbucket]

Bump for the fact that I have made a good deal of progress on writing this but my illustrators keep backing out!

What I need is for you to read a chapter, draw one or two pictures depicting its events and presto you are done. You can even just do one chapter if that is all you want to help out with.

Simply because I'm lazy and grunching on this thread:

How long are the chapters and what quality of pic are you looking for...?

I don't know what 'grunching' means, but the chapters are not really very long and I don't require that you do all of them. Even one or two will help!

[DrFaustus]

Bump for the fact that I have made a good deal of progress on writing this but my illustrators keep backing out!

What I need is for you to read a chapter, draw one or two pictures depicting its events and presto you are done. You can even just do one chapter if that is all you want to help out with.

Simply because I'm lazy and grunching on this thread:

How long are the chapters and what quality of pic are you looking for...?

I don't know what 'grunching' means, but the chapters are not really very long and I don't require that you do all of them. Even one or two will help!

buy grunch mugs, tshirts and magnets
To reply to an original post on a web forum without first reading the other replies.

Send me a chapter.

[BobDobbs]

Requesting a Trammelon update.

[chumbucket]

Requesting a Trammelon update.

Progress is being made on all fronts, but I will not start posting stuff until I have a good bit of it all ready to go. From there, I will intermittently update it until it is complete. Probably won't be entirely up until January!

[nightshark]

I just read the post dated oct 23, and I've gotta say, that idea is brilliant. Looking forward to reading it.

[chumbucket]

As I've said in previous replies, I am making progress on this with the help of several people providing me with drawings, photoshopped pictures, and so on. However, I could still use some help. I give wide latitude to artists on this, as I have no ability here, nor do I want to be in total control of them. It is fun to see what people come up with. If you are capable of providing any of the following, please let me know. The images need not be of professional quality. They only need to represent something from the story and add to what little humor there is in them! Also, I am willing to send drafts to chapters to people to come up with their own images but that might take time as all of the chapters in progress already have images.

1. Photoshopping Hemperor's head (his in game character's head) on to two pictures I have already.

2. An image of a young man crying while staring at a computer.

3. Two Hemperor's doing battle atop a gorge filled with lava.

4. A moongate through which you can see various nice things, e.g., stars, hearts, unicorns.

5. This one I do have a preference on: A pencil drawn portrait of my character from the shoulders up. A portrait. Something along these lines: http://www.swaen.com/os/Lgimg/90899.jpg But it need not be so detailed!

[BradPitt]

send me something to do.

Thanks

[BoofyBlitzd]

hello................

[Brules]

hello................

Woah are you back?!?!?!?! If so I owe you for my l33t sig!