Entry: What would I do for a mil? [Entry #5]

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Ireland
Posts: 449
Joined: Thu Apr 23, 2009 1:56 am

Entry: What would I do for a mil? [Entry #5]

Post by Ireland »

Under my recent return to UOSA, I have been on the search for hedonistic adventures throughout Brittania.
I have slaughtered evil, found the midpoint between life and death, and I have shared the un-unionized story of
the depressed player vendors whom work long hours. Until recently, I have been searching for people to share my
story with, but to no avail. So, I have finally decided to share my story with chumbucket, my fellow associates,
and fellow browsers of these forums.

My adventure began in Britain. Living the life of a beggar isn't all it's cut out to be, we constantly have to
solicit the city asking citizens for food. In return the citizens do not sympathize for the hardships of our life
and it often results in the creation of thieves. Some thieves become lowly bank thieves, while others become
conniving and intelligent manipulators. Well, I became the ladder. As I realized Moonburn was crossing gates
to conduct his daily business, I decided to follow him.

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Suddenly, something occurred to me. His player vendor Pila was disloyal, unintelligent, and alienated from her work.
I admit, I saw an opportunity that your average altruist wouldn't take advantage of. Pila, in her frustration with 24
hour work days, 7 days a week, decided to throw 18k on the ground after Moonburn wouldn't allow her to join
the Union of Brittania, quickly I swooped up the 18k and ran through the gates.

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As I mentioned before, I am a conniving swindler, but I do have a heart. Even John Rockefeller deserved a chance
at redemption, even if he was a greedy-misinformed, corporatist. A'las, I gave Moonburn a shot at redemption,
which he later took (unfortunately I lost the picture of his redemption).

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After my adventures with Moonburn were finished, my next adventure came from the advice of my close friends,
the pet store owners. Knowing people often has its perks, and sometimes you can take advantage of that. In
this case, I found myself with ample discounts at the pet store because of the people I knew. After spending
about 20k (fortunately, mostly funded by Moonburn), I decided to share with Britain, the cute animals that
were up for adoption at the pet store. I proceeded to place them at the roof of Britain bank for all to see.
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As I continued to flaunt the INCREDIBLY cute life of these animals, an evil man showed up! It was Michael Vick
ready to slaughter all the animals! I ran in terror! Michael Vick hacked and slashed away at the kittens!! It was
a cruel sight indeed! He picked up a puppy *PILE DRIVER*!!!! Michael Vick, with foam running from his mouth yelled
in an intense rage, "GIVE ME YOUR ANIMALS!!" I shrieked like a girl and then he picked up a kitten, then proceeded
to pick up a cute mouse and dumped them both into a bucket of water!! He was treating these poor animals like
inmates at Guantanamo Bay!!

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I couldn't do anything to save the lives of the innocent animals, the executioner (aka Michael Vick), destroyed them all.
I cried to the gods of UO, and they responded in empathy.

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Nearing conclusion to my story, I decided to jump in my Dolorian time machine and hit speeds of 88mph. I was
a newbie once again. As a newbie, you recognize that all you want to do is hunt, but hunting gets lonely
sometimes. I then saw a masked man who I asked to hunt with. He revealed to me that he wore the
mask because he was born of pure beauty; to gaze into his eyes would mean to turn to stone. I then understood
who this was; it was Medusa, who was tricking people to believe he was a man named Guerrilla!! I knew what I
had to do, I had to slay this creature.
creature.

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I alerted some of my comrades about the predicament I was in. They informed me that you cannot kill this
wicked created with a sword alone. Instead, I had to bring him to a well-assured place of death. The Balrons.
After getting Medusa to jump into a gate, as you can tell in the picture, Medusa wouldn't live for long. The thing
about these Balrons is that the only type of hunger they're interested in... is SECKS. They battered Medusa
with their giant clubs and magic, then after heroically beating Medusa to death, they proceeded to secks the
corpse. It was a glorious day, indeed.

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To finally conclude this long tale of adventure, we must reveal the ending. Unfortunately, like any real tale, we find
ourselves in sorrow. A'las, after trying to feed my family with 18k, showboating the cute animals of the pet store, and
ultimately destroying evil; I was found dead. I was rejected by death, but life wouldn't have me either. This sad
tale ends with my soul lying in Limbo. I am no longer dead, nor am I alive. My soul rests in the midpoint between life and
death where none shall ever find me.

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I thank you for taking the time to read my story, and remember the moral of this story... I R NEW GLD PLS.




THE END.
Last edited by Ireland on Thu Feb 03, 2011 4:15 pm, edited 1 time in total.
archaicsubrosa77 wrote:Everyone should have an Ireland's Finest action toon...

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Arsen
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Re: Entry: What would I do for a mil?

Post by Arsen »

wtf is this blood red hally?
you entered trammel haxor
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[22:00:50] <@Dupre> arsen isnt raging, hes jsut german, it just sounds taht way
[22:00:58] <@Dupre> hes actually very calm and gentle
[22:03:54] <@Dupre> arsen is also the best player here

iamreallysquall
Posts: 1806
Joined: Sat Mar 14, 2009 3:26 pm

Re: Entry: What would I do for a mil?

Post by iamreallysquall »

lmao nice!
<mistercherry> i bet ide beat yer asss in scrabble
<Atraxi> as soon as i find the noobs i stole from
<Jamison> lelouche your taunts will be your downfall

Ireland
Posts: 449
Joined: Thu Apr 23, 2009 1:56 am

Re: Entry: What would I do for a mil?

Post by Ireland »

Arsen wrote:wtf is this blood red hally?
you entered trammel haxor
It was Braden in disguise :( (not lying either.. Lol)
archaicsubrosa77 wrote:Everyone should have an Ireland's Finest action toon...

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